Gender roles

Okay. I'm going to say it. I HATE stereotyping gender roles. I don't agree with them. I feel they set kids up to grow up thinking and acting in certain ways because that's what is expected of them. Hannah played t-ball this summer and is signed up for soccer. She loves "wrackling" (her word for a mix of wrestling and tackling) with her Daddy. Her favorite movies are Toy Story and Cars. Don't get me wrong: she can be "girlie," too. She likes getting dressed up for church usually and loves taking care of her stuffed animals and dolls. The other night way after her bedtime, Hannah told me in her matter-of-fact adult tone that she changed her mind a bunch about what she wants to be when she grows up. I told her that was the great thing about life: you could think about different things you'd want to do and try on different jobs. Her current aspiration: to be a mommy. :-) Now, for Hudson. He sits in a pink bumbo (because I'm too cheap to buy another one when we have a perfectly good one right here). He squeals in a higher pitch than Hannah. And, man, can he pitch a fit when you try to wipe his face or when he wakes up at 1 am, again at 3 am, and one more time at 5 am. He also is much more sensitive about teething than Hannah ever was. He is stubborn -- continually going for the wires, remote control, and Hannah's toys, even after a no. If he gets to grab a toy of Hannah's, he really likes her baby dolls (I think it's the tough plastic of their hands because he chews on them). Hannah's my "baby girl," while Hudson is my "little man." Do I really do this? I try not to. Since I grew up in a house full of girls, one of my biggest fears I've had since I was young about raising a boy and a girl is that I would have double standards and be tested on all this! I want both of them to be strong, independent, well rounded people. Dave asked me the other night if he couldn't even teach Hudson chivalry -- things like opening the door for a woman, paying for a date, etc. Yes, but I would like Hannah to hold the door open for someone else who needs it, too. But how would I feel if she had to pay on a first date? Hmmm... The tests to my theories are only beginning!

Lessons learned

It happens regularly. I am going about life, thinking that I'm teaching Hannah a thing or two. Then, bam, she hits me with little things that speak volumes about her and me. Lesson One: Sometimes, it's okay to put my children's needs and wants over others'. Today at church, I happened to look up to notice that a little girl was sad because they were out of crayons for the children's packets. Hannah had gotten a set of 8 crayons, so I thought that she could share since she wouldn't even use 1/2 of them. I snuck back to give them to her, not realizing that Hannah had followed me. More importantly, I did not ASK Hannah or even explain to her what I was doing. I just gave. I was thinking, learning opportunity: we share. After Hannah and I went to the bathroom so she could cry it out, I realized what I had done. I put someone else's wants above my baby's. I was doing it in Christian spirit and to teach her to share, but I didn't tell her what I was doing or give her the choice of which colors to share. I hurt her feelings and confused her, and that is the last thing that I should do for my little girl. While I don't think this one incident will scar her for life, I find myself doing that in other ways to. I'll get frustrated with her for wanting more snuggle time when I need to be up grading for my students, for instance. I'm probably being a little hard on myself, but I do think that there is something to be said for letting her know that she is most important to me. Lesson Two: My children sometimes want the things that I can do for them. I've been weepy all week about going back to school and not getting as much time with my babies. I have loved every second of this summer with Hannah and Hudson. Hannah and I have talked about our favorite things we've done this summer each evening this week. Tonight, I asked her if she liked staying with me and Hudson more or going to school more. She said "school" with a "duh" kind of response. I have been working myself into a tizzy over not spending all my days and nights with her and Hudson, and she gave me that little nugget. Sometimes, Mommy does get it right, even when I think I have it all wrong.

Ode to Packaged Foods

Oh, how I love you, packaged food From goldfish to gummies Fruit cups and mac'n'cheese Rice krispie treats 100 calorie packs And, yes, baby food You fill Hannah's tummy Bring smiles to her face You keep me on track While I stay in the race Hudson loves your many flavors On the run or at school Much simpler than homemade And, you bring on his drool. I know you're not as healthy And we'll pay down the line But you're easy, and you please me and I'm glad that you're mine!