Lessons learned

It happens regularly. I am going about life, thinking that I'm teaching Hannah a thing or two. Then, bam, she hits me with little things that speak volumes about her and me. Lesson One: Sometimes, it's okay to put my children's needs and wants over others'. Today at church, I happened to look up to notice that a little girl was sad because they were out of crayons for the children's packets. Hannah had gotten a set of 8 crayons, so I thought that she could share since she wouldn't even use 1/2 of them. I snuck back to give them to her, not realizing that Hannah had followed me. More importantly, I did not ASK Hannah or even explain to her what I was doing. I just gave. I was thinking, learning opportunity: we share. After Hannah and I went to the bathroom so she could cry it out, I realized what I had done. I put someone else's wants above my baby's. I was doing it in Christian spirit and to teach her to share, but I didn't tell her what I was doing or give her the choice of which colors to share. I hurt her feelings and confused her, and that is the last thing that I should do for my little girl. While I don't think this one incident will scar her for life, I find myself doing that in other ways to. I'll get frustrated with her for wanting more snuggle time when I need to be up grading for my students, for instance. I'm probably being a little hard on myself, but I do think that there is something to be said for letting her know that she is most important to me. Lesson Two: My children sometimes want the things that I can do for them. I've been weepy all week about going back to school and not getting as much time with my babies. I have loved every second of this summer with Hannah and Hudson. Hannah and I have talked about our favorite things we've done this summer each evening this week. Tonight, I asked her if she liked staying with me and Hudson more or going to school more. She said "school" with a "duh" kind of response. I have been working myself into a tizzy over not spending all my days and nights with her and Hudson, and she gave me that little nugget. Sometimes, Mommy does get it right, even when I think I have it all wrong.